Sunday, August 31, 2014

Straight Talk on Infertility Stuff~Part Two

This is part two of Straight Talk on Infertility Stuff.  Read part one at:
Infertility Meds-Uh, can we talk about something else?  They were delivered in a large box that I couldn't open for 2 days.  I took shots at 7:00 in the morning and 7:00 at night and HATED everything about it.  Getting used to the idea of giving yourself a shot takes some time.  I really thought I would be fine with it, but ended up chickening out and made my amazing hubby do it.  Twice a day he lovingly stuck me with a needle knowing it caused me pain.  He hated it just as much but kept telling me, "This is a means to an end."  It stung a little going in and I felt queasy for about an hour after.  I did find myself becoming quite emotional, but don't know if it was due to the meds or the whole situation.  There is also a estrogen patch that some might have to wear throughout the process as well and this is probably the easiest thing by far.

Emotions-They go, they go down, and your head just seems to never stop spinning around.  It's so hard to keep from getting angry, crying at the drop of a hat, or feeling numb.  It's important to tell your closest friends and family members that you will be extra sensitive and a little...not your self.  I found that I just curled up with my thoughts.  Those closest to me, went above and beyond by reaching out with meals, distractions, and sweet words.  My hubby was a champ throughout the whole event and I've never felt more blessed to have him by my side.  There were some rough times, but he understood that this was only for a short time.

Egg Release-This happens when your eggs do not grow according to schedule, you have a "rogue egg," or they just aren' "right."  We walked into our appointment so excited to see how the medications had worked and how we were one step closer to the actual surgery date.  Unfortunately, I had a "rogue egg" and was given a pre-filled syringe to take that evening to release the eggs.  While some may see this as a part of the process, I felt as if my body had betrayed me and our dreams of starting a family had once again been dashed.  For two days I wallowed in my sorrow while my body reacted to the shot.  Large red welts spread all over my stomach and I was quite feverish.  Never had I ever been so hot in all my life.  The welts soon disappeared while hot flashes remain-get used to those, it seems as if you'll never cool down!

Continuing On-We find ourselves now continuing on with a different type of treatment and the time we wait has never been more exasperating!  The amount of bills compete with the same amount of emotions as we wait and pray for my body to work with the new dates circled on the calendar.  Sensitivities are high as we once again allow ourselves to hope and dream of the family we are meant to be.  We busy ourselves with work, friends, cook outs, parties, and the 8 families in our lives who find themselves pregnant or giving birth all within the same 2 months.  This too brings another bought of emotions, but nothing brings us more happiness than to help welcome a new babe into this world.  Prayers and well wishes for own babe are appreciated, donations towards our fund continue to trickle in:  We are ever so greatful for the people who've made meals, send cards, call, and just take part in our life.  It makes continuing on a bit more easier.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Straight Talk on Infertility Stuff~Part One

Sharing our stories, journeys, and adventures, allows us to experience and learn from others.  This last summer I found myself overwhelmed with infertility/fertility treatments and felt like I was floundering on my own.  So, I kept a short diary of the treatments and thought I might share them with you!~K
Fertility Calendar-Depending on who your doctor is, their most likely going to hand you a calendar of "events" for the month prior to your actual procedure date.  Our calendar had multiple abbreviations on each day and didn't allow for much additional writing.  We keep this on our fridge so we don't forget anything.  I'm going to be honest, it is super overwhelming. Seeing the end date everyday caused me to cry multiple times-from pure emotion of the fact that we are in this process.

Bills-Not my favorite thing to write about, but it is a  HUGE part of the process.  It seems like we have received a bill every other day for the last several months, and they just kept coming!!!!  There's multiple ways to pay for your treatments depending on the clinic you go to.  Our insurance doesn't cover one thing so, we pay as we go except for the actual procedure.  The entire amount is due the day of our procedure. $20,000 paid up front prior to surgery.  Talk about overwhelming!  We have saved every penny, applied for a loan, and friends and family have helped by donating towards our gofundme site:

Uterus Measuring-This is where a "balloon" is inserted in you and then filled with saline to measure the uterus and insemination path.  After awhile, the balloon is deflated and you feel like your literally peeing your pants.  Be aware-you might still have fluid inside you that will come out later.  Thank God for leather couches!  This happened to be a bit painful for me and was an experience that I absolutely hated!  I'm was so thankful to have my mother-n-law there to hold my hand.

Egg Measuring-This process isn't that bad.  They take an ultrasound wand, insert it, and just move it around measuring eggs.  It's uncomfortable, but not painful.  Get used to this procedure, it happened 5 times for me within 3 months.

Come back tomorrow for part two of Straight Talk on Infertility Stuff!

Saturday, August 2, 2014

An Update on Nick and Kassie

Still Waiting

Two weeks ago, I began taking hormone shots twice a day to begin beefing up the eggs that would be "harvested" for insemination.  I really thought I would be able to give myself shots, but soon found that a shaky hand was NOT good when dealing with a needle.  So, my hubby lovingly gave me my shots every morning and every night and it always ended with a screech and a few laughs. After the week of shots, we went in to discover that my eggs had doubled in size while one tripled!  It sounds like a good thing, but in infertility world, this was not.  We want all the eggs to grow at the same rate and when one takes off like "the monster egg," we have to let them all go.  When the doctor told us that we would have to release the eggs and try again, we were devastated and shaken.  This was supposed to be the easy part!

Needless to say, the following couple days was a bit rough.  After taking the "trigger shot" to release the eggs, I ended up having a reaction to the hormones and I will leave the painful details out.  We now begin another waiting game, blood tests, and holding on to the faith that keeps us going.  We will try again with the shots one more time as the week of shots costs $3,000 and we don't want to dip into the funds we raised for surgery.  If it doesn't work the second time, we will have to awhile to heal physically and emotionally before making another decision.  In the mean time, we continue praying, working overtime and picking up odd jobs to help keep our doctor bills from piling up, and try to focus on other things happening in our life.  School will be starting up for me and Nick's job is keeping him super busy.  We haven't really told a lot of people the "calendar of events," and thank you all for the encouragement during this process.  A few friends have kept our minds off of things with trips to the zoo, swimming, dinners at our favorite pizza joint, or just having us over to hang out with their families.  These events take our minds of of things and allow us to feel somewhat "normal."

Thank you all for your inquiries, your encouragement, and love.  We couldn't do this without you!
~Nick and Kassie