FIRST, I WANT
TO SAY I THINK IT IS NEAT THAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THE STRUGGLES PEOPLE FACE
WITH HAVING CHILDREN. TO SO MANY PEOPLE, HAVING A CHILD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING THEY HAVE EVER WANTED TO DO. FROM THE TIME I CAN REMEMBER I WANTED TO BE
A MOM. I WANTED A BOY AND A GIRL. THEIR NAMES WOULD OF BEEN DANIELLE AND
ELIZABETH. MY SON WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIS DAD AND MY DAUGHTER A SPITTING IMAGE
OF ME, POOR GIRL! BUT, IT WAS NOT IN THE BIG DESIGN GOD HAD FOR ME. I WOULD FACE
HARD TIMES AS A CHILD THAT WOULD PREVENT ME FROM HAVING CHILDREN AND WHEN I
WAS PREGNANT, I CHOSE TO STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP THAT COST ME TWINS.
NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN, I HAVE HAD HARD TIME BEING HAPPY FOR OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE PREGNANT. WHEN ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS PREGNANT I HAVE A HARD TIME BEING AROUND THEM. JUST RIGHT NOW ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS EXPECTING AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN ABOUT THREE MONTHS. WHEN I SEE A MOTHER WHO DOES NOT TREAT THEIR CHILD RIGHT, IT INFURIATES ME. I WANT TO GO OVER TO THAT MOTHER AND SLAP THE CRAP OUT OF HER AND MAKE HER REALIZE THE GIFT SHE HAS. NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN, I CRY SOMETIMES. I ASK OUT LOUD WHY, I QUESTION GOD ALL THE TIME.
I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE MORE INTIMATE DETAILS OF THE PAIN I FEEL WHEN I KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHILD OF MY OWN. I HAVE THOUGHT WHAT KIND OF LEGACY CAN I LEAVE NOW WHEN I LEAVE THIS EARTH. WHY NOT ME! WHAT MAKES THE WOMEN WHOSE PREGNANT SO SPECIAL? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS! THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME SOMETIMES!
BUT, AND I AM SO GLAD THEIR IS A BUT, I REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO BE A MOTHER FIGURE TO OTHER CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD WHO NEED SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT THEM. A MOTHER WHO LOVES THEM THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE. I AM THE AUNT FIGURE WHO CAN SPOIL THEM AND THEN SEND THEM HOME. SO, NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN IS HARD, IT IS DISAPPOINTING, IT IS UNFAIR. BUT, I ALSO KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN THAT I CAN'T SEE AND HE SHOWS ME A LITTLE BIT EACH TIME I CAN BE A "MOTHER" TO A CHILD WHO HE HAS PUT IN MY LIFE.
NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN, I HAVE HAD HARD TIME BEING HAPPY FOR OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE PREGNANT. WHEN ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS PREGNANT I HAVE A HARD TIME BEING AROUND THEM. JUST RIGHT NOW ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS EXPECTING AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN ABOUT THREE MONTHS. WHEN I SEE A MOTHER WHO DOES NOT TREAT THEIR CHILD RIGHT, IT INFURIATES ME. I WANT TO GO OVER TO THAT MOTHER AND SLAP THE CRAP OUT OF HER AND MAKE HER REALIZE THE GIFT SHE HAS. NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN OF MY OWN, I CRY SOMETIMES. I ASK OUT LOUD WHY, I QUESTION GOD ALL THE TIME.
I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE MORE INTIMATE DETAILS OF THE PAIN I FEEL WHEN I KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A CHILD OF MY OWN. I HAVE THOUGHT WHAT KIND OF LEGACY CAN I LEAVE NOW WHEN I LEAVE THIS EARTH. WHY NOT ME! WHAT MAKES THE WOMEN WHOSE PREGNANT SO SPECIAL? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS! THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME SOMETIMES!
BUT, AND I AM SO GLAD THEIR IS A BUT, I REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO BE A MOTHER FIGURE TO OTHER CHILDREN IN THIS WORLD WHO NEED SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT THEM. A MOTHER WHO LOVES THEM THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE. I AM THE AUNT FIGURE WHO CAN SPOIL THEM AND THEN SEND THEM HOME. SO, NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN IS HARD, IT IS DISAPPOINTING, IT IS UNFAIR. BUT, I ALSO KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN THAT I CAN'T SEE AND HE SHOWS ME A LITTLE BIT EACH TIME I CAN BE A "MOTHER" TO A CHILD WHO HE HAS PUT IN MY LIFE.
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