Mother's Day 2015

This time last year, I once again sat in the pews of my church watching all the mother's be recognized and silently grieved.  While mother's should totally be recognized, there was always something so painful about knowing that it wasn't me-again.  But you know what, I had a choice. To either cry the day away, selfishly wage war within my own heart, ignore the mother's in my own life, or be strong for myself, my husband, my future children, and celebrate the day. For we have been given another day to hope, to pray, to believe that this soon will be us no matter how our babies get here. Here's wishing you a Happy Day and know that we are praying right alongside you for your own baby story to come true.

Our Story-Your Story

I love everything about this little comic.  Love is...a multitude of things, but when you have found the one your heart truly loves, your story becomes so much more.  It becomes page after page of learning and loving with another person.  Paragraphs full of mistakes and lessons learned. Words formed into sentences that only apply to you two. A story that no one else can write, but you two.

What is your story? What lessons can we learn from you?  What joys can we share with you?

Share your story on: http://waitingforbabystoriesblog.blogspot.com/

Shout Out to the Med Administrators

I saw this the other day and had to take a minute to really let this funny little message sink in.  Going through InVitro, I had to take up to 3 shots a day.  I thought I was strong enough to do it on my own, but when push came to shove, my hands shook like crazy!  So, my loving husband took charge of administering the meds every morning and every night.  This meant he woke up earlier do to our different schedules, prepared and cleaned utensils, and even came up to my classroom during parent teacher conferences to administer a shot.  It was so uncomfortable and I don't know how he found the strength to do it when he knew it caused me pain.  One thing that I will never forget is him saying, "I Love You" before every shot and kissing me on the head afterwards.  Those are the only things I looked forward to during that process.  

So, here's a shot-out to all the husbands and partners out there who've accepted the job-

we appreciate you!!!

Update on Nick and Kassie

As I write this update, I still can't believe that I get to share with you news we have been praying and hoping for for 9 years.  This journey to have kids has been heartbreaking painful and yet, you have been there every step of the way sharing your stories and praying/hoping right along with us.  After countless surgeries, more medications than we can count, failed attempts at adopting and foster care, it all led us to try InVitro as a last chance effort before my "time was up."  Well, the first attempt was deemed a success and we are now 4 months pregnant!

It's still hard for me to believe that we are pregnant and if it wasn't for the intense exhaustion, I probably wouldn't still believe it.  In fact, it has taken me these four months to even be able to get out the words without sobbing.  The physical tiredness of the situation and the emotional roller coaster we've been on has really taken a toll on me.  I find that I am much more introverted in my daily life and want this privacy that no one can expect now days with social media, fantastic friends, and ever-present family.  Everyone has advice and their own stories that they want to relive and I'm over here still reeling from the news that our 9-year wait is just over, like that!

It's been scary to share the news with our friends who still find themselves in the middle of their own battles.  I told a friend that I feel like I've been removed from a "club" of sorts, which she replied, "You never leave that club.  It's always going to be apart of you."  I just don't want to see the anger and pain in their eyes that so often plagued us during our waiting period.  Which is why I'm hoping to help change this attitude that couples going through this have to be angry and hurt all the time.  While it does feel like people are rubbing it in your face, the majority of them are not.  Each little babe that comes into your life should be welcomed by you with open arms-you would want that for your kid right?  I also know how hard pregnancy announcements are when your waiting which is why we waited so long to share the news on this blog.

Even though we have been given this amazing gift, we still find ourselves on edge knowing that we are never guaranteed the full 9 months let alone every day of their little lives.  Each night we go to bed, we pray over this kiddo asking for continued health and growth.  We also pray for our friends near and far that still find themselves waiting.  While I hated the words-faith and perseverance during the last nine years, I now see their importance and sometimes feel guilty for not displaying them stronger.  Yet,  I know we did the best we could and thank God every day that He persevered and had faith in us.

Update on Kelli and Lucas Story

We've been following Kelli and Lucas' adoption story for over two years now.  Hearing them tell us about their first adoption of their daughter-to watching them fill out papers, travel, and bring their son home this last summer.  It has been an amazing journey and one that should not be taken lightly.  Their hearts and souls were measured and weighed in so many ways and they came out strong.  We are so delighted to share with you a local story featuring this family and how they used "crowdfunding" to help cover adoption costs. Thank you Kelli and Lucas for sharing your waiting story with us!

http://www.ketv.com/news/family-turns-to-crowdfunding-for-help-in-adopting/30113468

10 Worst Things to Say to Your Infertile BFF

You MUST check out this blog post about the ten worst things to say to your infertile BFF:

http://fancylittlethings.com/2012/05/the-ten-worst-things-to-say-to-your-infertile-bff/

Have one to add to the list?  Comment below and tell us!

Update on Nick and Kassie~Part 4

It's been two whole weeks since our InVitro procedures and last post.  And let me tell you something, it's been an emotional roller coaster!  So much is happening in your body during this time that you feel strangely detached and yet 100% invested in the everyday goings-on's.  After the insemination, I took three days to hole up in the house and rest.  While this is considered an "old school rule"-laying for 3 days-I wasn't going to take any chances even though my doc said I could go back to work after 2 days.  Invested family members and friends took turns keeping me company or bringing us food.  This helped out a TON and I'm so glad I said "yes" to their help. (if you have individuals in your life that want to do this for you-let them)

Going back to work was a little harder than I imagined as every movement felt like some sort of endangerment to the embryos within me.  I was also given estrogen pills and Cronin to take everyday which means, crazy-strong emotions, crying for no reason, and bouts of anger.  From what I hear, everyone is different and reacts differently to the medications.  Three days into the work week,  I began to bleed.  There was immediate shock and then overwhelming fear.  My doctor had me come in for blood test every other day the following week and we kept a close eye on the situation.

Eight days went by and I had never felt more like a failure in my life.  My body, for some reason, was rejecting all the hard work, prayers, and hopes that went into this InVitro process.  Yet, we still held on to hope and each other.   Nick was truly amazing.  Even though his worst fears were coming true, everyday he woke up and every night before he fell asleep, Nick would lay hands on my belly and pray.  He would thank God for the babies He was creating within me and would ask that our fears would turn into joy.  While our doctor has yet to rule anything out, she is asking me to continue taking the medications and wait two weeks until we get an accurate answer.

Two weeks.  Seems longer than the 9 years we've been trying to get pregnant.  

Yet, we will wait, we will hope, and we will pray. 

Stay tuned, we will be posting again in two weeks!

To continue following our story, check out our Gofundme site: http://www.gofundme.com/7s7zms